Beginner’s Guide to Healing for the Adult Child of an Alcoholic.
Were you affected by your parent’s drinking when you were growing up? Being the child of an alcoholic affects how you think and live today as an adult – all these years later.
I found this very hard to accept, but I did. That was when I finally realized I needed to work on myself – in my late 20’s and early 30’s – as life was not turning out how I wanted it to, considering the effort I was putting in to it. Back then I thought that, since I had gotten away from them that I would be fine, and not affected anymore.
If you have come to feel that your parent’s alcoholism has affected you now that you are in adulthood, do you know what to do to begin to heal and get over the past?
Maybe in the past you thought you did not have the time to look at this issue, but as you have gotten a bit older you realize something maybe that I did too. Life is not turning out as you had envisaged it would. And if that is so, what do you do? Even if you feel you have already done so much.
Does any of this resonate? If so, what if I told you that recognizing that you are a child of an alcoholic and that this has impacted your life, and then taking action to heal from the past is the KEY to living the life that you desire.
It took me years to realize that just because I kept away from the alcoholics in my life, my qualifier being one of my parents, that life would work well for me. Wrong. However, when I realized the impact and I started to work on myself, and doing a little bit at a time, things changed for the better. I began to create the life I wanted and deserved.
See some of my go to strategies to get help you start healing and creating the life you would love one step at a time.
Learn about addiction
The best way to heal is to learn about addiction, what it is and what it is not. Sometimes, we, children of alcoholics think we know all about addiction – and we don’t. When you learn and begin to understand the science, it then becomes clearer how common it is and what happens to the minds of folks who are addicted, and how it affects everyone who loves the addicted person. It does not take long to visit credible websites and read books about addiction. By doing this we can gain more insight to understanding our parent’s addiction in ways you may not know possible.
Suggested websites and books about addiction
Books to open your mind about addiction, as recommended by Work It Health
What to do next or what to do whilst learning more about addiction.
Have you ever looked for a Coach or a personal trainer who had been there, done it and come out the other side? Someone who was where you are now. There can be nothing more inspiring than hearing about folks who have experienced similar to you. Adult children of alcoholics have variations on the same story. We have similar traits and have all gone through pain.
Attend an Al-Anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics Meeting
Some folks don’t want to go to meetings (during these testing times there are meetings on line), as they think the meetings will be about people moaning and groaning about the alcoholic in their life. Some are afraid they will have to speak. You don’t have to, you can just listen.
I was nervous attending my first meeting many years ago, but I got over this and continued going. These meetings saved my life. I began to learn and realized so much. I learned what life I wanted to create and what not to do to create this. Listening in the meetings I realized I was not the only one and there was life after growing up with alcoholism. Different meetings have different themes and vibes; choose one that works for you.
Adult Children of Alcoholics is specifically for us Adult Children of Alcoholics. This is like Al-Anon, but specifically for ACoAs. See the link above.
With regard to the meetings, initially the sharing from other members may not resonate. However, a few days later you might think about your own life and something that was said will pop into your head and it will make your think and possibly be what you need that day.
Seeing a Counsellor or Therapist. I would thoroughly recommend taking this step, just make sure that they specialize in helping those that are affected by someone else’s addiction. You may need to see or speak to a few to find someone that you like, or that you know or feel can help you. Taking this step with the meetings I have mentioned above helped me heal and create the life I wanted and deserved.
You now have all you need to being your journey to healing. We all have opportunity to heal and create the lives we want.
Please below the links to my Facebook group and page.