Maria Wybrow – Codependency Coach, Motivational Speaker and Author

What is codependency

Do you seek other people’s approval in the form of rescuing, people pleasing, caretaking and fixing? Do you then feel disappointed or resentful when you do not receive the validation or approval you feel you deserve for your efforts?

If this resonates with you, you could be codependent.

As a codependent person, you might feel as if you’ve spent so much time giving and investing in others that you now feel that you have lost sight of who you really are.

Codependency can occur in a number of our relationships; with family, our partners, our children, and our friends. The truth is everyone wants to be accepted, valued, and loved. But when you seek validation and your sense of self-worth from what you do or give to others, and this is detrimental to your health and mental wellbeing, this is codependency.

Some Signs of being Codependent:

  • Having difficulty identifying your own needs and feelings.
  • Having difficulty communicating and setting boundaries in a relationship.
  • Unable to identify or ask for what you need and want.
  • Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem.
  • Extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations and unhealthy relationships too long.
  • Compromising your own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.

Where does Codependency come from:

Codependency is rooted in our childhood. If you grew up in a household with a parent that has, or had, an addiction – or a dysfunctional family where there was physical, emotional, or sexual abuse – you will be codependent but may not see this. Dysfunctional households also include: a parent with a mental illness, or a narcissistic parent.

In these households we learned unconsciously to be codependent – unknowingly – and this was responsible for what we thought, did in life, and who we attracted into our lives. This also stopped us making the changes we wanted to in our adult lives.

If you feel unworthy or not good enough, it is not your fault. You may feel that you have worked hard in your life to feel good enough, or to create the life you wanted, but failed despite your best efforts. This is also not your fault.  Coaching can help us break patterns and create the life we desire.

Let’s look a bit deeper…