I saw the heading and it grabbed my attention.
For one, I am passionate about raising awareness for men and women – but particularly women – about what a healthy relationship looks like.
Why?
I grew up with untreated addiction, so I never saw what a healthy relationship looked like. I had no modelling. I did not know what healthy anything looked like. No wonder, that in my first marriage I married the union of my parents and their family dynamics, alcoholism and gambling addiction in one person, and in one go!!
My first marriage continued the generational line of addiction, drama, and denial. Take it from me, my early adult life was emotionally fraught and very emotionally painful at best.
Those days are behind me now because I wanted a health relationship and I committed to only being in one. I worked very hard in therapy and several 12 step recovery programs to break the pattern of attracting unhealthy partners. It helped.
Over the last 20 years this is what I learned about what emotionally healthy women never do in their love life:
Ignore their friends due to a relationship
Don’t give up their financial security
Control or change their partner
Don’t give up on their goals and dreams
Don’t use passive aggressive behaviour
Don’t let their partner make all the decisions
Don’t complain about their partner to others
Don’t expect their partner to fulfill all needs
Don’t give up their own identity
In a relationship or not, you deserve the best
If you are in a unhealthy relationship, it is possible to turn it around, if both partners want this – and are capable of putting in the work to do this. Or, if you are sick and tired of attracting unhealthy partners, it is possible to change this. I know, I have done it.
Warmest wishes, Maria.
