Hello Ladies,

How are you doing?

Christmas time, in the house of untreated Addiction. Here’s the lie.

The 12 Days of Christmas should be a time of happiness and fun, but it can be a hellish time in the house of untreated Addiction.

My childhood Christmas’s were not the happiest memories I have; today is different. This is after a life time of working on myself to recover from growing up in the house of untreated addiction.

Today, Christmas is a quiet time, a time of happiness and joy with my other half in our house of no addiction.

Around this time of year, if you are living in the house of untreated addiction, or have lived in this house, you will KNOW what I mean when I say, you want it to be good, you want it be loving and you want it to be happy, BUT you KNOW that you will probably be disappointed.

I love listening to Christmas Songs at this time of year, my favourite one is mentioned below. I believe in Father Christmas by Greg Lake.

I invite you to listen to and look at the lyrics. It reminds me of the lie, we are fed in the untreated house of addiction. The lie, that can feel more painful at this time of year, when it is meant to be all about family, joy, happiness and support. There is little of this in the untreated house of addiction. The song amplifies this for me, the lie.

Lyrics

Hope and expectation about this time of year.

They said there’ll be snow at Christmas

They said there’ll be peace on Earth

But instead it just kept on raining

A veil of tears for the Virgin birth

I remember one Christmas morning

A winters light and a distant choir

And the peal of a bell and that Christmas tree smell

And eyes full of tinsel and fire

The Lie

They sold me the dream of Christmas

They sold me a Silent Night

And they told me a fairy story

‘Till I believed in the Israelite

And I believed in Father Christmas

And I looked to the sky with excited eyes

‘Till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn

And I saw him and through his disguise –

OF COURSE, THESE IS NO FATHER CHRISTMAS and in the house of addiction, they say that all is OK, there is Santa, that and it will snow, and there will be peace on earth to all men. There are no problems here!

We KNOW, those of us, who are now adults, who grew up in this household that this is a LIE.

You get what you Deserve

I wish you a hopeful Christmas

I wish you a brave New Year

All anguish pain and sadness

Leave your heart and let your road be clear

They said there’ll be snow at Christmas

They said there’ll be peace on Earth

Hallelujah Noel, be it Heaven or Hell

The Christmas we get we deserve

Songwriters: Lake Greg, Prokofev Sergej S.

Do we get what we deserve, having grown up in this household? I think not. It took me all my life to recover from growing up around someone’s untreated addiction.

But I am here to tell you there is HOPE, you can have the Christmas you deserve. IF you begin to admit the truth, that is the fist step. Acknowledge this, the addiction, the lie, the fakeness of the household of untreated addiction.

IF you don’t, you will suffer and pay the price for a life time of their denial and into the bargain, have the emotional hangover.

Yes, the emotional hangover we can suffer from being around our relatives who want to stay in denial about their addiction. What do I mean by emotional hangover, the people pleasing, the stuffing of feelings (this was my favorite) and the shutting down to numb yourself or not feel at all?

Remember, colluding with the untreated house of addition, won’t make things better this Christmas or ever, it will just perpetuate the LIE. And leave you with the hangover, although you may not be the one in the family drinking!

Stay tuned for my next newsletter on the Emotional Hangover. In the meantime, stay safe and look after you!

Best, Maria.